🍝 Flamme research · State of Couples 2026
what do couples talk about most?
Food and cooking come up in 2.81% of the answers couples write to each other on Flamme, more than work, kids or money (1.39%), and saying sorry is the rarest theme we measured (0.34%).
Theme shares come from keyword matching on a random sample of 250,000 answers. Data: 2,722,793 answers, 2 February 2023 to 14 October 2026. How we did this.
by An Nayal, founder of Flamme · Updated
the numbers
| group | chart | share of answers |
|---|---|---|
| food and cooking | 2.81% | |
| work and stress | 2.06% | |
| cuddles and hugs | 2.04% | |
| kids | 1.62% | |
| sleep and bed | 1.41% | |
| money | 1.39% | |
| listening and feeling understood | 1.34% | |
| travel | 1.02% | |
| laughing | 0.82% | |
| phones and social media | 0.57% | |
| "I love you" | 0.46% | |
| saying sorry | 0.34% |
- Money comes up in 1.39% of answers, about half as often as food.
- Phones and social media come up in 0.57% of answers.
what does it mean for couples?
Everyday life fills most of what couples say to each other: meals, work, touch and sleep. That is a good sign. Small talk about shared routines is how partners stay up to date with each other.
Money and apologies are rare in answers, which matches how hard they are to bring up. If you have been putting off a money talk, our guide to talking about money has a script.
cite this
Free to quote with a link. For other cuts of the data, email hello@flamme.app.
Flamme, "The State of Couples 2026: What Couples Talk About", flamme.app/state-of-couples/what-couples-talk-about, published 30 October 2026. Based on 2,722,793 answers by 88,622 people, 2 February 2023 to 14 October 2026.
how was this measured?
Flamme is a couples app where both partners answer the same daily question and then see each other's answer. We analysed 2,722,793 answers to 1,919 questions from 88,622 people, written between 2 February 2023 to 14 October 2026. Theme shares come from keyword matching on a random sample of 250,000 answers. Everything is a count or an average. Flamme users chose a couples app, so they are not a random sample of all couples, and most answers are in English. Full method and limits on the State of Couples 2026 report.
good questions, answered
Not often, in Flamme's data. Money comes up in 1.39% of answers couples write to each other, about half as often as food and cooking (2.81%).
An Nayal
Founder of Flamme, the couples app used by more than 200,000 partners. He writes the relationship guides here and builds the free tools that go with them. annayal.com
put it to use
💸 How to Talk About Money
Start with what money means, then the numbers.
💬 Questions for Couples
140+ hand-written questions in 7 decks, with a free generator.
💰 50/30/20 Budget Calculator
Both incomes in, fair 50/30/20 split out - with proportional shares.
📊 The State of Couples 2026
What 2.7M answers from real couples say about how partners talk.
