🌍 Flamme research · State of Couples 2026
do long-distance couples communicate more?
Long-distance partners write about 9% more per answer than couples who live together (12.6 words on average vs 11.6), and mention missing each other, distance or visiting 3 times as often.
Word counts and themes come from a random sample of 250,000 answers. Living situation is what users chose to share at sign-up. Data: 2,722,793 answers, 2 February 2023 to 14 October 2026. How we did this.
by An Nayal, founder of Flamme · Updated
the numbers
| group | chart | words per answer |
|---|---|---|
| long distance | 12.6 | |
| living together | 11.6 |
- 13.6% of long-distance answers run past 25 words, against 11.6% for couples who live together.
- Long-distance partners mention cuddles and hugs 27% more often.
- Kids come up 28% less.
- 28% of people in the data who shared their living situation are long distance.
what does it mean for couples?
Distance changes how couples talk, not just how often. With fewer shared moments to point at, partners put more into words, and the words lean toward missing each other and touch.
If you are long distance, a daily written ritual (a question you both answer, a voice note, a shared journal) uses the thing you already do more of. Our long-distance survival kit has the rest.
cite this
Free to quote with a link. For other cuts of the data, email hello@flamme.app.
Flamme, "The State of Couples 2026: Long-Distance Couples Write More", flamme.app/state-of-couples/long-distance-couples-write-more, published 30 October 2026. Based on 2,722,793 answers by 88,622 people, 2 February 2023 to 14 October 2026.
how was this measured?
Flamme is a couples app where both partners answer the same daily question and then see each other's answer. We analysed 2,722,793 answers to 1,919 questions from 88,622 people, written between 2 February 2023 to 14 October 2026. Word counts and themes come from a random sample of 250,000 answers. Living situation is what users chose to share at sign-up. Everything is a count or an average. Flamme users chose a couples app, so they are not a random sample of all couples, and most answers are in English. Full method and limits on the State of Couples 2026 report.
good questions, answered
They write more per message. In Flamme's data, long-distance partners write about 9% more per answer than couples who live together, and mention missing each other or visiting about 3 times as often.
An Nayal
Founder of Flamme, the couples app used by more than 200,000 partners. He writes the relationship guides here and builds the free tools that go with them. annayal.com
put it to use
🌍 Long-Distance Survival Kit
The habits, tools, and games that make LDR work - all free.
🌍 Lonely in a Long-Distance Relationship
What to tell them, and rituals that help.
🌍 Long-Distance Questions
Written for video calls, voice notes, and the miles.
📊 The State of Couples 2026
What 2.7M answers from real couples say about how partners talk.
