Questions for Couples
132 questions to ask your girlfriend 💗
by An Nayal, founder of Flamme · Updated
play them one at a time 👇
About love · 1 of 132
What makes you feel like my girlfriend and not just someone I am dating?
both of you answer before moving on 💛
You already know her coffee order. These are for the rest: the things that do not come up on an ordinary Tuesday. Pick a section that fits tonight and go slowly.
all 132 questions
The full list, numbered. Screenshot it, print it, or read them out on a call.
What are love questions to ask your girlfriend?
- 1. What makes you feel like my girlfriend and not just someone I am dating?
- 2. What is the most romantic thing you have ever pictured happening between us?
- 3. How do you want me to chase you, even after I already have you?
- 4. What is a small thing I do that makes you feel completely chosen?
- 5. Do you believe in soulmates, or do you think love is something we build?
- 6. What does it feel like the moment you know you are falling for someone?
- 7. What is a romantic gesture that would completely melt you?
- 8. Do you fall in love with your eyes open or your eyes closed?
- 9. What is the corniest romantic thing you secretly wish I would do?
- 10. How do you want to be wooed, slowly or all at once?
- 11. What is one thing about how I love you that surprised you?
- 12. What is the bravest thing love has ever asked you to do?
- 13. When do you feel the safest in this relationship?
- 14. What is a love story you grew up watching that shaped what you wanted?
- 15. What do you think I love about you that you do not see in yourself?
- 16. What is something about being loved that still feels new to you?
- 17. How has loving me changed the way you see love?
- 18. How do you tell liking someone from truly loving them?
- 19. What is one way I show love that means more than you have said?
- 20. Do you think you have to earn love, or does it just show up?
What are deep questions to ask your girlfriend?
- 21. What is something you have never told a boyfriend before?
- 22. What part of yourself do you hide because you think it is too much?
- 23. What do you wish I understood about you without you having to explain it?
- 24. What is something you are proud of that nobody ever asks you about?
- 25. What do you actually need on the days you say you are fine?
- 26. What is a version of yourself you left behind that you miss?
- 27. What do you carry that you never put down, even around me?
- 28. What is a fear about yourself you have never said out loud?
- 29. What makes you feel powerful?
- 30. What makes you feel small, and who taught you to feel that way?
- 31. What do you wish people saw in you before they saw how you look?
- 32. What is the bravest thing you have done that no one noticed?
- 33. What do you need to hear on the days you feel invisible?
- 34. What is something you believe about yourself that you wish you did not?
- 35. What do you want me to understand about your bad days?
- 36. What strength of yours gets mistaken for softness?
- 37. What is something you have never asked for because you did not want to seem needy?
- 38. What is something about growing up as a girl that shaped you more than you realized?
- 39. What do you wish you could stop apologizing for?
- 40. What compliment about your mind would mean more to you than one about your looks?
What are fun questions to ask your girlfriend?
- 41. What is the most ridiculous thing you have ever done to get my attention?
- 42. What is a nickname you would be secretly delighted if I actually used?
- 43. Which one of my habits do you silently judge me for?
- 44. What would you love most about swapping lives with me for a day?
- 45. What is the most unhinged thing you have ever done for a crush?
- 46. Which fictional couple do we remind you of most?
- 47. What is a food I like that you will never understand?
- 48. What matching tattoo could you actually live with forever?
- 49. What is the pettiest thing you have ever gotten jealous about?
- 50. Would you rather I always sing off key or always dance badly in public?
- 51. What is a weird relationship rule you have never said out loud?
- 52. If our relationship was a movie genre, which one would it be?
- 53. What is the worst gift you would still pretend to love?
- 54. How would you describe me to a stranger in three words?
- 55. What is a ridiculous couple's competition you actually think you would win?
- 56. Which of my friends do you secretly wish you saw more?
- 57. What is the most chaotic double date you can imagine us going on?
- 58. What is a silly thing you do that you think I have not noticed?
What should I ask my girlfriend about us?
- 59. What took you the longest to get used to about being with me?
- 60. What is one thing you have changed your mind about since we got together?
- 61. What do you wish we did more of, just the two of us?
- 62. What is something about how we fight that you actually appreciate?
- 63. What role do you play in us that I do not fully see?
- 64. What is a habit of mine you have secretly started doing yourself?
- 65. What is something we do now that you hope we never stop doing?
- 66. What do you need from me on the days this relationship feels hard?
- 67. What is one way this relationship has changed you for the better?
- 68. What do you think other people notice about us that we do not?
- 69. What is something you have never had to ask me for twice?
- 70. What is a compromise you made for us that you have never mentioned?
- 71. What do we do together that you think would confuse anyone else?
- 72. What is something small I do that you think keeps us steady?
- 73. What is something you needed from me in the beginning that you do not need anymore?
- 74. What is something about me that made more sense once you got to know me?
What should I ask my girlfriend about her past?
- 75. What is the best relationship lesson an old heartbreak ever taught you?
- 76. Who was the first person who ever truly broke your heart?
- 77. What did you learn about love from watching your parents' marriage?
- 78. What is something your mother taught you about being a woman that stuck?
- 79. What is a version of yourself from your twenties you miss?
- 80. What did you believe about love as a teenager that you know now is not true?
- 81. What is a friendship from your past that shaped how you love people now?
- 82. What is something you wish you had known before your first serious relationship?
- 83. What did you want your life to look like when you were a little girl?
- 84. What is the bravest thing you ever did for a past relationship?
- 85. What did a past relationship teach you that you are grateful for now?
- 86. What is a memory from your childhood that still makes you feel safe?
- 87. What is something you swore you would never accept from a partner?
- 88. What is something about your family you did not appreciate until you were older?
- 89. What is a rule you made for yourself after a past relationship ended?
- 90. What did you need most from a partner before you ever got it?
What should I ask my girlfriend about the future?
- 91. How many kids, if any, do you actually picture in our future?
- 92. What is one tradition you want us to start as a family someday?
- 93. Where do you picture us living when we are finally settled?
- 94. What do you think our life will look like five years from now?
- 95. What is something you want to be true about us by the time we are old?
- 96. What kind of wife do you think you will be, if you ever want that?
- 97. What is one thing you never want to compromise on when it comes to marriage?
- 98. What do you hope our home together actually feels like?
- 99. What moment with me are you most looking forward to?
- 100. How do you picture the two of us at eighty years old?
- 101. What about married life excites you most?
- 102. What is one promise you want us to make to each other for the long run?
- 103. What does your dream proposal actually look like, if you have ever pictured one?
- 104. What is a family tradition from your childhood you want to bring into our future?
What are flirty questions to ask your girlfriend?
- 105. What was it about me that you noticed first?
- 106. What is a small thing I do that you find unfairly charming?
- 107. Do you remember what you were wearing the day we met?
- 108. What is your favorite way for me to kiss you hello?
- 109. What almost stopped you from giving me a chance?
- 110. What is a moment you knew you wanted to kiss me?
- 111. What is something about my voice or my laugh that you love?
- 112. What is the flirtiest thing you have ever said to get my attention?
- 113. What is your favorite place for me to touch your hand?
- 114. What outfit of mine do you secretly hope I wear again?
- 115. What is something I do that still gives you butterflies?
- 116. What is a compliment from me that you replay in your head?
- 117. What is the boldest move you wish I would make on you?
- 118. What do you think about right before I kiss you?
What should I ask a new girlfriend?
- 119. What made you decide to actually give this a real shot?
- 120. What is one thing that made you sure you wanted to be exclusive?
- 121. What is something you want me to know before you introduce me to your friends?
- 122. What are you most nervous about as this gets more serious?
- 123. What is something about dating me so far that surprised you?
- 124. What do you need from me most in these early days?
What can I ask my girlfriend over text?
- 125. What is making you smile right now?
- 126. What are you wearing right now, just curious?
- 127. What is the best thing that happened to you today?
- 128. What song is stuck in your head right now?
- 129. What do you want for dinner tonight, no wrong answers?
- 130. What is something you want to tell me but keep forgetting to?
- 131. What are you looking forward to when you see me next?
- 132. What is the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
how to use them well
listen for the follow-up
Her answer usually contains the next question. 'Tell me more about that' works better than moving to card two.
match her depth
If she gives you a real answer, give her one back. Matching depth is what makes a question night feel close instead of awkward.
remember the answers
Bring an answer back a week later. 'You said you missed that bakery, so...' is the payoff for asking.
play this daily in Flamme
Flamme, the couples app, sends you both one question a day from a bank of 1500+. You answer privately, then see each other's answer, and a shared streak keeps the habit going.
good questions, answered
What are good questions to ask your girlfriend?
Start with love, then her past and your future: 'What is a small thing I do that makes you feel completely chosen?', 'What did you learn about love from watching your parents' marriage?', 'What do you think our life will look like five years from now?' The sections above sort them by mood.
What are cute questions to ask your girlfriend?
The fun and over-text sections are the lighter end: favorite memories of the two of you, small habits, hypotheticals. They work well as a mid-day message.
What should I ask a new girlfriend?
Keep it curious and low-pressure: what she loves about her life right now, what a perfect weekend looks like, what she is looking forward to. The new-girlfriend section is a short starter set.
An Nayal
Founder of Flamme, the couples app used by more than 200,000 partners. He writes the relationship guides here and builds the free tools that go with them. annayal.com
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