Questions for Couples
116 questions to ask your boyfriend 💙
by An Nayal, founder of Flamme · Updated
play them one at a time 👇
What is something you wish I understood about you?
both of you answer before moving on 💛
Some nights the usual how-was-your-day runs out fast. These go somewhere. Pick the section that fits the mood, ask one, and actually listen to the answer before you ask the next.
all 116 questions
The full list, numbered. Screenshot it, print it, or read them out on a call.
What are deep questions to ask your boyfriend?
- 1. What is something you wish I understood about you?
- 2. When do you feel most respected by me?
- 3. What is a fear you have never said out loud to me?
- 4. What does being a good man mean to you?
- 5. Who do you become when you are most stressed?
- 6. What do you think you are like to love?
- 7. What is something you are proud of that you never brag about?
- 8. What did you learn about relationships from your parents?
- 9. When was the last time you felt truly seen?
- 10. What is a dream you have quietly given up on?
- 11. What makes you feel safe with someone?
- 12. What is the hardest thing you are dealing with right now?
- 13. What is a compliment you wish you got more often?
- 14. What are you still trying to prove, and to whom?
- 15. What would you do differently if no one would judge you?
- 16. What always makes you feel like a kid again?
- 17. What part of your day do you most look forward to?
- 18. What do you wish more people asked you about?
What are fun questions to ask your boyfriend?
- 19. What is the most fun you have ever had in one day?
- 20. What would your perfect weekend with me look like?
- 21. What is a hobby you would pick up if you had the time?
- 22. What is the best purchase you have ever made?
- 23. If you could be famous for one thing, what would it be?
- 24. What is your go-to karaoke song, no shame?
- 25. What is the weirdest food combination you secretly love?
- 26. What would you do first if you woke up as me?
- 27. What is a small win that made you way too happy?
- 28. What movie could you rewatch a hundred times?
- 29. What is your most irrational fear?
- 30. If we had a free plane ticket right now, where are we going?
- 31. What is a talent you wish you had?
- 32. What is your favorite way to waste a Sunday?
- 33. What is the dumbest thing you have ever cried at?
- 34. What trend did you fully fall for at the time?
What should I ask my boyfriend about our relationship?
- 35. What was going through your head on our first date?
- 36. When did you realize you wanted to be with me?
- 37. What do you brag about me to your friends?
- 38. What is a moment with me you keep coming back to?
- 39. What do you think we should be better at?
- 40. When do you feel most like a team with me?
- 41. What is something I do that instantly relaxes you?
- 42. What are you most grateful for about us?
- 43. What do you hope people see when they look at us?
- 44. What scared you most about falling for me?
- 45. What do you never want us to lose?
- 46. When have you felt proudest to be with me?
- 47. What do you wish I did more often?
- 48. What does home feel like to you now?
- 49. What is one promise you want to make to me?
- 50. What is a tradition you want us to start?
What should I ask my boyfriend about his past?
- 51. What were you like before we met?
- 52. What was the hardest year of your life?
- 53. Who believed in you when you needed it most?
- 54. What is a lesson you learned the hard way?
- 55. What did your first heartbreak teach you?
- 56. What is a memory of your childhood home you love?
- 57. Who did you look up to growing up?
- 58. What is something from your past you have made peace with?
- 59. What is the bravest thing you did before me?
- 60. What friendship shaped who you are?
- 61. What is a mistake you are actually grateful for?
- 62. What did you believe about love before us?
- 63. What is a place from your past you want to show me?
- 64. What were your parents like when you were young?
- 65. What version of you do you miss sometimes?
- 66. What did you want to be when you grew up?
What should I ask my boyfriend about the future?
- 67. Where do you want us to be in five years?
- 68. What kind of father do you think you would be?
- 69. What does your ideal life look like at sixty?
- 70. What is a goal you have not told anyone about?
- 71. What do you want our home to feel like one day?
- 72. What adventure do you want us to have next?
- 73. What are you working toward right now?
- 74. What would make you feel like your life is a success?
- 75. Where do you want to travel with me before we are old?
- 76. What is one thing you want to build together?
- 77. What do you want to be remembered for?
- 78. What are you most hopeful about lately?
- 79. What would you do if this year had no limits?
- 80. What do you hope we are still doing at seventy?
What are flirty questions to ask your boyfriend?
- 81. What was the first thing you noticed about me?
- 82. What do I do that you find impossible to resist?
- 83. What is your favorite way to be kissed?
- 84. When do you find me most attractive?
- 85. What outfit of mine do you love the most?
- 86. What is a memory of us that still gives you butterflies?
- 87. What do you think about when you miss me?
- 88. What is the most attractive thing about my personality?
- 89. What did you want to do the first time you saw me?
- 90. What is your idea of a perfect date night with me?
- 91. What is your favorite thing about waking up next to me?
- 92. What is your favorite kind of hug from me?
- 93. What is something you have been wanting to tell me?
- 94. Where is your favorite place for us to sneak away to?
What should I ask a new boyfriend?
- 95. What made you want to ask me out?
- 96. What are you looking for in a relationship?
- 97. What should I know about how you show you care?
- 98. What is a dealbreaker for you?
- 99. How do you like to be supported on a bad day?
- 100. What does dating me feel like so far?
- 101. What is something you want me to know early?
- 102. How do you handle disagreements?
- 103. What makes you trust someone?
- 104. What are you hoping this becomes?
What can I ask my boyfriend over text?
- 105. What is the best part of your day so far?
- 106. What are you thinking about right now?
- 107. What is something small that made you smile today?
- 108. What do you wish we were doing right now?
- 109. What is on your mind that you have not said?
- 110. What are you looking forward to this weekend?
- 111. What song are you playing on repeat lately?
- 112. What would you order if I brought you dinner tonight?
- 113. What is a memory of us that popped up today?
- 114. What do you need to hear right now?
- 115. What is something you want to do with me soon?
- 116. What made you think of me today?
how to use them well
ask one, not five
A single question he actually answers beats a list fired at him over dinner. Let the follow-up come from his answer.
answer it yourself too
Offer your own answer after his. It turns an interview into a conversation, and it is how you find out what you have in common.
text the light ones
The fun and over-text sections work well as a message in the middle of the day. Keep the deep ones for when you are together.
play this daily in Flamme
Flamme, the couples app, sends you both one question a day from a bank of 1500+. You answer privately, then see each other's answer, and a shared streak keeps the habit going.
good questions, answered
What are good questions to ask your boyfriend?
Good ones are specific enough that he cannot answer in one word: 'What is something you wish I understood about you?', 'What did you learn about relationships from your parents?', 'What is the most fun you have ever had in one day?' This page has them sorted by mood.
What are deep questions to ask your boyfriend?
Try 'When do you feel most respected by me?', 'What is a fear you have never said out loud to me?' and 'What makes you feel safe with someone?' The deep section above has the full set.
What questions can I ask my boyfriend over text?
Short, light ones he can answer between other things: the over-text and fun sections above. Save the past and future questions for when you are face to face.
An Nayal
Founder of Flamme, the couples app used by more than 200,000 partners. He writes the relationship guides here and builds the free tools that go with them. annayal.com
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❤️🔥 ask the love coach
a question hit harder than expected?
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- one of these questions opened something up - how do we keep talking about it?
- my partner gives one-word answers - how do I get them to open up?
- give us three questions for tonight
