What do you need to annotate a book?

A fresh copy of the book, soft highlighters that do not bleed through thin pages, a pencil or fine-tip pen for margin notes, and sticky tabs. Supplies cost $10 to $25.

How do you make an annotation key?

Pick five or six categories and give each a colour or mark: for example yellow for 'reminded me of you', pink for romance, blue for 'made me laugh', green for favourite line, and tabs for parts to read slowly. Write the key inside the front cover.

How long does it take to annotate a book?

Two to four weeks for a 300-page novel, reading 10 to 20 pages a sitting. Poetry or a short novel can be done in a week.

Is an annotated book a good gift?

Yes, especially for anniversaries and long distance. It costs little, takes real time, and they will keep it. Add a note at the front and a longer one at the end.

📖 Dates for Couples

annotating favourite books for each other

Annotating a book for your partner means re-reading a book you love and marking it up for them: highlighting lines that made you think of them, writing in the margins, and leaving tabs on the parts you need them to notice. Then you hand it over, and they read the book and you at the same time. Agree a colour key first, use a highlighter that will not bleed through the page, and allow two to four weeks for a 300-page novel.

by An Nayal, founder of Flamme · Updated October 2026

time: 2 to 4 weeks to annotate a 300-page novel at a relaxed pace
cost: $10 to $20 for a paperback, $10 to $25 for highlighters and tabs
you need: A fresh copy, soft highlighters, a pencil or fine-tip pen, sticky tabs
best for: Anniversaries, long distance, and partners who show love in words

what annotation key should we use?

Write the key on the inside cover so they can decode it while reading. Keep it to five or six categories, more and you will spend the whole book choosing colours.

mark	means
Yellow highlight	This made me think of you
Pink highlight	Romantic, or how I feel about us
Blue highlight	This made me laugh
Green highlight	Favourite line in the book
Orange tab	Read this part slowly
Pencil in the margin	My actual thoughts, unfiltered
A small heart	I stopped reading for a minute here

how to annotate a book for your partner

step 1

Pick a book you already love

Annotating is better on a re-read, because you know where the good parts are. Buy a fresh paperback so your old copy stays yours.

step 2

Test your pens on the last page

Try every highlighter and pen on the back pages first. Thin paper bleeds. Soft or dry highlighters and pencil are safest.

step 3

Annotate a little, often

Ten to twenty pages a sitting. Annotate as you would talk to them, honestly, not to impress. A margin note that says 'this is the exact thing you did in Lisbon' beats a paragraph of analysis.

step 4

Bookend it and swap

Write a note on the inside front cover (why this book, and the key) and a longer one at the end for when they finish. Swap on a set date, and do not ask how far they are.

kinds of books that work well

1. A novel you read at an important time in your life. The margins can tell them why.
2. A love story. Obvious, and obvious works.
3. A book of poems. Short, so you can annotate densely, and every poem is a chance to say something.
4. The book that most explains you, the one you would give someone to understand where you come from.
5. A book you think they would never pick up alone. Your notes are the reason they get through it.
6. Something under 350 pages for the first swap. Shorter books get finished, and so does the swap.

variations & upgrades

long-distance version

Mail it with a note that says 'open on' a date. In the US, USPS Media Mail is a cheaper rate for books, usually a few dollars, though slower than standard post. Then read the same chapter on a call once they start, so they can ask about your notes as they go.

the buddy annotation

Buy two copies of a book neither of you has read. Each annotate your copy as you read, then swap at the end and read each other's margins. You find out what the other noticed that you missed.

the yearly book

Annotate one book for each other every anniversary. In ten years you have a shelf that is a record of how you both changed.

good questions, answered

You read a book, often one you love, and mark it up for them: highlighting lines that remind you of them, writing thoughts in the margins and tabbing parts you want them to notice. When they read it, they get the book and your reactions together.

An Nayal

Founder of Flamme, the couples app used by more than 200,000 partners. He writes the relationship guides here and builds the free tools that go with them. annayal.com

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say the small things every day

Flamme gives you both one daily question to answer, which works a lot like trading margin notes. A shared streak and widget keep it going. Free on iPhone and Android.

scan to get the app 📱

Point your camera at the code - it opens the App Store or Google Play on your phone.